'Succubus Blues CHAPTER 25\r'

' s eeral(prenominal)times you wake up from a dream. mosttimes you wake up in a dream. And sometimes, every once in a dapple, you wake up in soul elses dream.\r\nâ€Å"If he cute to carry me submit rid of and affect me his come slave, Id do it, so presbyopic as I got assign copies of his curbs.”\r\nMy jump words spoken to lot as I rabidly discussed his work. solidifyings sign impression of me. Head held high, hair tossed exclusively oer my shoulder. A flippant remark unendingly at the ready. Grace under fire. A cool social confidence introvert bent could neer muster neverthe slight envied. How shadow she do that? Never lady friend a beat? Later, my rambling accounting of the five-page rule, a goofy habit he found infinitely endearing. Some unity and only(prenominal)(a) else who appreciated literature, viewing it corresponding fair wine. clean and deep. And beautiful. Yes, beautiful. I saw myself prohibitedright as hardening had seen me that n ight: the short skirt, the spunky purple top, brilliant as a birds plumage. Like some exotic creature, dispiritedly give go forth-of-door of place in the bookstores gloomful landscape.\r\nAll of this was in curing, the past of his suppuration tonusings for me mingling with the present, and I drank everything up.\r\n non vindicatory beautiful. Sexy. Sensual. A goddess made flesh whose every move leashed at passion to be intimate. The curry strap slipping off my shoulder. sluttish beads of perspiration on my cleavage. stand in his kitchen, clad only in that ridiculous Black Sabbath shirt. noneunderwear on under that. Wonder what itd be a give care(p) to wake up with her succeeding(prenominal) to me, messy and untamed.\r\nIt each(prenominal) spilled into me. More and more(prenominal).\r\nHe would watch me at the bookstore. Loved watch me interact with customers. Loved that I seemed to guide a go at it something slightly everything. The witty dialogue he pondered for his characters coming to my lips with divulge hesitation. Amazing. Never met any(prenominal)one who jaws like that in real deportment. My bartering with the used book store thrower. A charisma that force in shy, quiet circle, made me flicker in his opinion. Made him feel more confident.\r\nStill his feelings rushed through me. I had never felt anything like it. for sure I had felt attraction and illusion in my victims, evidently never such(prenominal) love, non directed at me.\r\n readiness thought I was shake upy, yes. Desired me. barely that raw lust juxta drawd with something softer too. Something sweeter. Kayla school term on my lap, small blond soul against my chest as I lace her hair. A brief shifting of the character as he momentarily considered his own daughter on my lap. Fierce and witty on one hand, gentle and insecure on the other. My inebriated subject at his condo. A swell of protectiveness as he led me to bed, watching me hours afterwards Id gone to sleep. He thought no less of me for the weakness, for my lapse of figure and judgment. It was a permit follow up of my walls for him, a sign of tarnish that made him love me more.\r\nFurther and progress I drank, my desperate and weakened state unable to stop.\r\nâ€Å"Why doesnt she date?” Seth beared Cody. Cody? Yes, there he was, in the bum of Seths theme. A memory. Cody secretly giving Seth swing lessons, neither of them telling me, quite making up vague excuses for wherefore they always had to be â€Å"somewhere.” Seth, move so hard to make his feet obey so he could dance with me and be closer to me. â€Å"Shes afraid,” the vampire replied. â€Å"She thinks love causes pain.”\r\nLove causes pain.\r\nYes, Seth loved me. Not the crush Id imagined. Not a superficial attraction I thought Id dissuaded. It was more, so ofttimes more. I embodied everything in a adult female he could ever imagine: humor, beauty, intelligence, kindness , saturation, charisma, sexuality, pathos… His soul seemed to ache recognized mine, haggard uncontrollably toward me. He loved me with a depth of feeling I could non even begin to tap into, though believe me, I tried. I motivationed it. I wanted to feel it all, to nurse up that burning within him. To devour it. Set myself on fire with it.\r\nGeorgina!\r\nsomewhere far away, someone called to me, save I was too into Seth. Too into absorbing that strength within him, that strength fused with his feelings for me. Feelings brought on, amplified even, by coddleing. Lips soft and eager. Hungry. De humanityding.\r\nGeorgina!\r\nI wanted to pose one with Seth. I inevitable to. I selected him to fill me up… physically, mentally, spiritually. there was something there… something concealed interior him I couldnt quite reach, hovering in the assground. A tantalise piece of k flatledge I should encounter long since recognized. You are my life. I needed to get in farther, reach out for more. Find out what was hiding from me. That court was my lifeline, my connection with something bigger than myself, something I had been comprehend for all my life scarce never make don. I couldnt stop. Couldnt stop kissing Seth. Couldnt stop. Couldnt â€\r\nâ€Å"Georgina! permit go!”\r\nRough give tore me away from Seth, like flesh rive from my own body. I cried out in agony at the broken connection, differenceing the hands that puffed me and held me. I clawed at my captor, needing to find out the secret lurking beyond that kiss, yearning for the completeness of that union with Seth â€\r\nSeth.\r\nMy hands useped, and I blinked, bringing the world keystone into focus. Reality. I was no longer inside Seths full point; I was slake in my apartment. A feeling of solidness settled in me, and I didnt have to get word down to cope my body had stop its shifting, my form snapping adventure to a short, lithesome woman with honeyed br own hair. The girl I had been long ago was inhumed within me once more, never to move into out if I could help it. Seths life force now filled me to overflowing.\r\nâ€Å"Georgina,” murmured Hugh roll in the hay me, letting his hands ease up on my arms. â€Å"Christ, you scared me.”\r\nLooking crosswise the room, I saw Carter, bedraggled as usual, leaning over Seths body.\r\nâ€Å"Oh God †” I sprang up and moved to them, kneeling beside the paragon. Seth lay on the floor, skin pale and clammy. â€Å"Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Is he… ?”\r\nâ€Å"Hes resilient,” Carter told me. â€Å"Barely.”\r\nStroking Seths cheek, feeling the fine golden-red haze of his near-beard, I felt disunite brimming in my eyes. His breathing came alter and jagged. â€Å"I didnt recollect to. I didnt mean to squander so much…”\r\nâ€Å"You did what you had to do. You were in distressing shape, could have died.”\r\nâ€Å"And now Seth might…”\r\nCarter shook his head. â€Å"No. He wont. Hell need recovery time, but hell pull through.”\r\nI drew my hand arse, half-afraid my spotlight might harm Seth more. Glancing approximately, I became aware of the disheveled state of my apartment. It looked worsened than Jeromes. Smashed china and glass. Broken tables. disordered chairs and couch. The unstable bookshelf in pieces at last. From the kitchen, Aubrey hunkered down under the kitchen table, wondering what was going on. I wondered myself. The nephilim were nowhere in sight. What had come oned? Had I unfeignedly missed it all? The epic, divine troth of the century, and I had missed it for a kiss? Admittedly, a really neat kiss, but stable…\r\nâ€Å"Where is… everyone else?”\r\nâ€Å"Jeromes off doing, uh, damage control with your neighbors.”\r\nâ€Å"That doesnt sound good.”\r\nâ€Å"Standard practice. Supernatural battles arent exactly quiet, you kno w. Hell do a shortsighted perspicacity erasing, make sure no regimen get nonified.”\r\nI swallowed, afraid to ask my next question. â€Å"What about… what about the nephilim ?”\r\nCarter analyze me, gray eyes forbearing me long and hard.\r\nâ€Å"I know, I know,” I conjecture at last, looking down, unable to call up that gaze. â€Å"Theres no ten years and parole, recompense? You destroyed them.”\r\nâ€Å"We destroyed… one of them.”\r\nI looked up sharply. â€Å"What? What about the other one?”\r\nâ€Å"He got away.”\r\nHe.My looming tears slipped out now; I could not control them. For you, Ill flip away. â€Å"How?”\r\nCarter laid a hand on Seths forehead as though victorious vital stats and and so turned back to me. â€Å"It all happened really refrain. He dissemble and went invisible in the confusion, while we were winning on the other one. And honestly…” The sentimentl looked at my closed previous door, thence at Hugh and me.\r\nâ€Å"What?” I whispered.\r\nâ€Å"Im not… Im not entirely convinced Jerome didnt let him get away. He wasnt expecting two. I wasnt either, though I should have, in retrospect. After killing the first one…” Carter shrugged. â€Å"I dont know. Hard to say what happened. â€Å"\r\nâ€Å"Then hell be back,” I realized, idolize and relief blending weirdly in me over the thought of romishs escape. â€Å"Hell be back… and he wont be happy with me.”\r\nâ€Å"I dont think thatll be a problem,” the angel observed. Gently, he lifted Seth up and fliped to my overturned couch. A moment later, it flipped over untouched, righting itself. Carter laid Seth on it and go along speaking. â€Å"He took a real tanning †the other nephilim. A really bad beating. I dissolvet believe he had the indi batht left to hide himself from us; I still throttle expecting to feel him again any minute. If hes smart, hes running as fast and far from us as he can right now, getting out of our prevail †out of any im earthborns range †so he can drop his shields and rest.”\r\nâ€Å"Then what?” asked Hugh.\r\nâ€Å"Hes in bad shape. Itll address him a long time to recover. When he does, he knows he doesnt have the allayer to return here again.”\r\nâ€Å"He could still take on me,” I noted, shudder as I remembered Romans wrath toward me at the end. It was hard to believe wed been wrapped in each others arms, caught in the throes of passion, less than 24 hours ago.\r\nâ€Å"He could take you on,” equalised Carter. â€Å" further he cant take me on. Or Jerome. He certainly cant take both of us on. That was what decided it, in the end. They didnt expect that. Us teamed together. Itll give him pause to just come bursting back here, even if you alone pose no threat.”\r\nI didnt find that reassure in the least. I thought of Roman, passio nate and rebellious, always eager to make a point against the system. That personality type add itself well to revenge. I had tricked him, made love to him, and then betrayed him, resulting in the annihilation of his plans †and his sister. thank God for my sister. Shes the only one I have, the only mainstay in my life.\r\nHe might pause, as Carter had suggested, but not for long. Of that, I was certain.\r\nâ€Å"Hell be back,” I whispered, more to myself. â€Å"Someday hell be back.”\r\nCarter gave me a soaked look. â€Å"Then we will deal with him then.”\r\nMy front door opened, and Jerome entered. He looked neat and prim, precisely like hed just been in an revelatory battle with his own offspring.\r\nâ€Å"Housekeeping all done?” asked Carter.\r\nâ€Å"Yes.” The demons eyes darted over to Seth. â€Å"Hes alive?”\r\nâ€Å"Yes.”\r\nAngel and demon locked eyes then, and a tense moment of palpable still hung between them.\r\nà ¢â‚¬Å"How fortuitously unexpected,” Jerome murmured at last. â€Å"I could have sworn he was dead. Well. Miracles happen every day. I suppose well have to wipe him now.”\r\nI stood up. â€Å"What are you public lecture about?”\r\nâ€Å"Nice to have you back with us again, Georgie. You look lovely, by the way.”\r\nI glared at him, angry at his joke, sagacious it was Seths energy giving me the succubus capture now. â€Å"What do you mean you have to ‘wipe him?”\r\nâ€Å"What do you think? We cant let him walk away after everything hes seen. Ill diminish a little of his affection for you while Im at it; hes a liability to you.”\r\nâ€Å"What? No. You cant do that.”\r\nJerome sighed, lay on the look of one who suffered long and hard. â€Å"Georgina, do you have any idea what he was just overt to? He has to be wiped. We cant let him know about us.”\r\nâ€Å"How much of me will you take from him?” Pieces of Seths memo ries †my memories, now †glittered in my head like jewels.\r\nâ€Å" nice so that he forgets he has any more than a passing cognition of you. Youve been even more negligent with your vocation than usual these last few weeks.” I hardly thought that was Seths fault; Roman had helped too. â€Å"Both of you will function much better if he finds some mortal woman to obsess on instead.”\r\nDont you want to stand out in some way? Carters taunting question from what seemed like an eternity ago whispered in my head. â€Å"You dont have to do this. You dont have to take me out with the rest.”\r\nâ€Å"If Im already in there, I might as well elucidate you too. Theres no way he can just go on as usual after being exposed to denizens of the divine realms. purge you have to agree with that.”\r\nâ€Å"Some mortals know about us,” I argued. â€Å"Like Erik. Erik knows, and he keeps it to himself.”\r\nIn fact, I realized suddenly, Erik had kept H elenas secret to himself as well. He had figured it out after working with her over the years but had never revealed the full truth, only doling out small clues for me.\r\nâ€Å"Erik is a special case. He has a gift. An ordinary mortal like this one couldnt handle it.” Jerome walked over to my couch, looking at Seth dispassionately. â€Å"Its better this way.”\r\nâ€Å"No. Please,” I cried, running over to Jerome and displace his sleeve. â€Å"Please dont.”\r\nThe archdemon turned to me, dark eyes cold and shocked that I would hold grab hold of him like that. I knew then, cringing under that gaze, that something in our fond, balmy relationship had changed forever †something small, but main(prenominal) nonetheless. I didnt know what had done it. possibly it had been Seth. Maybe it had been Roman. Maybe it had been something else altogether. All I knew was that it had happened.\r\nâ€Å"Please,” I begged, ignoring how desperate I must sound . â€Å"Please dont. Dont take me from him… out of his head like that. Ill do anything you want. Anything.” I napped a hand over my eyes, attempting to look calm and in control, knowing I was failing.\r\nOne eyebrow shifted ever so slightly on Jeromes face, the only hint that I had piqued his interest. The term â€Å"deal with the chew out” had not arisen lightly; few demons could place upright a bargain.\r\nâ€Å"What could you possibly offer me? The sex thing only worked on my son, so dont even think about trying it now.”\r\nâ€Å"Yes,” I agreed, voice growing stronger as I plunged forward. â€Å"It worked on him. It works on all sorts of men. Im good, Jerome. Better than you know. Why do you think Im the only succubus in this city? Its because Im one of the best. Before I hit this funk… this, I dont know, some(prenominal) mood Ive been in for a while now, I could have any man I wanted. And not just simply for their strength and life for ce. I could circumvent them. Make them do anything I asked, blether them into acts of sin they never would have woolgather of before meeting me. And they would do it. Theyd do it, and theyd like doing it.”\r\nâ€Å"Go on.”\r\nI took a deep breath. â€Å"Youre tired of the ‘all lowlifes, all the time, right? Me being negligent? Well, I can change that. I can raise your stock higher than youve ever dreamed. Ive done it before. All you have to do is let Seth go. Let him keep his memories intact. All of them.”\r\nJerome studied me a moment, mind working. â€Å"All the ‘stock in the world wont do me any good if he runs around blathering about what hes seen.”\r\nâ€Å"Then well see if he can handle it first. When he recovers and wakes up, well blabber to him. If he doesnt look like hell be able to pick out with it all… well, then you can erase his memories.”\r\nâ€Å"Who will make the call if he can cope or not?”\r\nI hesitat ed, not wanting that decision in the demons hands. â€Å"Carter will. Carter can tell if someones telling the truth.” I looked at the angel. â€Å"Youll know if its okay, right? Okay for him to know… about us?”\r\nCarter gave me an odd look, one I could not interpret. â€Å"Yes,” he lastly admitted.\r\nâ€Å"What about your end?” asked Jerome. â€Å"Will you hold it up †even if Carter decides hes unsafe?”\r\nThat was harsh. I had a feeling Jerome wouldnt negotiate on this one, but I was willing to jeopardy it, so confident did I feel about Seths capacity to process amaranthine activity. I opened my mouth, about to agree, when I caught Hugh shaking his head at me out of the corner of my eye. Frowning, he tapped his watch, mouthing something I couldnt recognise at first.\r\nThen, it clicked. Time. I had listened to the imp talk about his job enough to know the rules of negotiation: never make an open-ended deal with a demon. â€Å"If S eth keeps his memories, Ill walk the succubus straight and narrow for a century. If they have to be erased anyway, then Ill still do it for… a third of that.”\r\nâ€Å"Half,” countered Jerome. â€Å"We arent mortal. Even a century is nothing on the face of eternity.”\r\nâ€Å"Half,” I agreed dully, â€Å"but no more than survival dictates. Im not going to do this every day, if thats what youre thinking. Ill only get fixes as I need them, but theyll be strong ones. genuinely strong †loaded with sin. With men of good caliber, thatll be… oh, every four to vi weeks.”\r\nâ€Å"I want better than that. special(a) credit. Every couple of weeks, whether you need it or not.”\r\nI closed my eyes, unable to fight anymore. â€Å"Every couple of weeks.”\r\nâ€Å"Very well,” say Jerome, a warning note in his voice. â€Å"But you will be held to this harmony unless I choose to terminate it for some reason. Not you. There will be no wiggling out for you.”\r\nâ€Å"I know. I know, and I accept.”\r\nâ€Å"Shake then.”\r\nHe wide his hand to me. Not hesitating, I took it, and origin crackled briefly around us.\r\nThe demon smiled thinly. â€Å"We have a deal.”\r\n'